Failing to step up and have the hard conversation has consequences
My experience is that when leaders consistently avoid hard conversations, their colleagues, team members and bosses start suggesting they are not up to the job. Being known as somebody who won’t have these hard conversations damages your reputation as a leader.
It’s useful to ask yourself, ‘What would people think of me as a leader if I fail to have this conversation?’ In short, we expect leaders to have hard conversations and manage conflict, so it makes sense to develop your ability to do so.
When an issue that needs to be discussed isn’t addressed, the problem rarely goes away. Often, things fester and get worse. This can have a terrible impact on your organisation and its people.
During the past 10 years, I have mediated numerous workplace disputes between individuals. The scenarios have included:
• CEOs having problems with members of their executive teams
• partners being unable to work together at various professional service firms
• individuals having difficulty working together in the same team
• managers in conflict with members of their team
• people from separate teams who are clashing
Almost all these situations could have been resolved without the need for mediation if the individuals had talked through the issues when they first arose. By avoiding the conversation, things got worse. Small misunderstandings became major disputes. This affected not only the individuals at the heart of the dispute, but also people around them. Tension in the workplace made life unpleasant for anyone in the vicinity. Sometimes people who were affected left the organisation or moved to other divisions. Workplace productivity always suffered. When people choose silence, rather than expressing their issues, organisations lose.
The best organisations ensure their leaders have the skills to create psychologically safe environments. They develop leaders who are comfortable having hard conversations. Indeed, the authors of Crucial Conversations (Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan and Al Switzler) highlight that their own research over a 25-year period, and the research of others, clarifies that the key to organisational success comes down to how people handle hard conversations:
Within high-performing companies, when employees fail to deliver on their promises, colleagues willingly and effectively step in to discuss the problem. In the worst companies, poor performers are first ignored and then transferred. In good companies, bosses eventually deal with problems. In the best companies, everyone holds everyone else accountable – regardless of level or position.
The significant harm that can follow a failure to create a culture of psychological safety is highlighted by Amy Edmondson in The Fearless Organization. In the book, Edmondson shares the story of the 2003 Space Shuttle Columbia disaster. She notes that the culture of NASA meant that an engineer who held critical information felt unable to speak up in front of his superiors. Had he done so, the disaster that saw seven astronauts perish when the shuttle re-entered earth’s atmosphere most likely would not have occurred.
Failing to step up and have the hard conversation has consequences.
——————————————————————————–
This is an extract from Mastering Hard Conversations: Turning Conflict into Collaboration by Balanced Curve Director Mark Rosenberg
Available now as a paperback, ebook, and audiobook.
